Wednesday, October 1, 2014

For reals...

This time it's for real.  I'll write more.  HA!

Okay, so who wants to know about my day yesterday?  It was a normal, boring Tuesday.  Michaela did run her first light, but I'll spoil the surprise and tell everyone I forced her to do it.  Yep.  Michaela is driving.  I really do need to write more....

I feel like Michaela driving in and of itself needs some explanation.  Here in lovely New Hampshire a CHILD can drive the day they turn 15 and a HALF.  So on the half birthday during their 15th year of life they simply put their birth certificate in their pocket and WHALLA, instant driving permit.   This means Michaela has been driving with Happy and me since May 10th, a day when the roads of New Hampshire became a little more dangerous.  I'm also pretty sure my usage of bad words has significantly increased during this time.

Not true.  :)  For the most part Michaela is pretty good ...especially considering she has been learning how to drive a stick shift.  That's been all Paul's doing so far.  He has a level of patience that simply doesn't exist within me.  I can hardly handle the stress of easy driving on the back roads of Hollis in my automatic, let alone shifting and stalling and grinding gears...  I can honestly say she is getting better though.  I can also honestly say that 16 is crazy young to be allowed to drive around one of the most dangerous things on earth!!

Back to my day yesterday...  and the running of the red light I'm sure everyone is dying to know about.

I woke up, made four lunches, and sent four kids to school.
I took the dog to doggie day care.
I went to work.
I worked ...which entailed hiking 4.3 miles on a fitness hike.
I worked more doing random office things.
(PS.  I've upgraded from just being a teacher at Beaver Brook; I have my own desk!)
I went home and painted some walls, which I am desperately trying to finish in 40 minute increments.
I picked up Andrea from school.
I picked up Scotty from school.
We went to the pet store to get Blue a present and some pretty cookies; it's his birthday today!
We went to Andrea's dance class.
We picked up Sierra from volleyball.
We picked up the dog.
We picked up Michaela and a friend from crew.
We dropped off Michaela's friend at the library because we didn't have enough time to take her home.
We went home.
I fed everyone dinner in eight minutes.  Go leftovers!
I left Sierra, Scotty, and Andrea at home and took Michaela to her driving class.
I got coffee.
I went to my college class.
I finished at my class and went to grocery store for an 18 minute shopping spree to get bread and milk.
I picked up Michaela.
We got home at 9:30 and was thrilled beyond belief that Sierra had picked up the house and the kids were asleep.
I went to bed.

Oh, I didn't mention the red light anywhere did I?  :)

When I picked up Michaela from her driving class (she was driving) we came to a light on the edge of town that was red F O R E V E R.  We must have sat through four light cycles of being skipped.  The line of cars was backed up for days and now everyone was starting to honk.  I thought it would be a good time to learn how to honk so I told Michaela to join in.  Thankfully there was one car in front of us that was feeling most of the pressure of being the first to run the endless red light.  I told Michaela that if the first car went we might need to run it too ...or sit there forever.  She just stared at me.

The car before us decided to go for it so I told Michaela to follow him and pay attention to everything around her.  So we ran it.

Now that was an anti-climatic red light story wasn't it.  HA!

First thing Michaela said to Sierra when we got home was, "Mom made me run a red light!!"  Super.

I guess Michaela's excitement at the event made me feel the need to record the event in history so that in eight years Michaela doesn't alter any of the facts to make it seem like I was some crazed and impatient mother in a hurry, forcing her to risk our lives and run a red light through a busy downtown intersection  ...even though that's kinda what happened.  :)

Thursday, April 17, 2014


I can't even think of anything to write about this; nothing I can come up with really does the event justice.  Sierra is nuts!!  Her friend is crazy too!  This water was melted ice and when I say "melted ice" I seriously mean melted ice!  Ice chunks were floating in the water and that white stuff they are standing on is the lake ...the FROZEN lake ...which is ICE ...FROZEN WATER!

It was seriously that cold, don't let the blue sunny sky fool you.  I touched the water with my hand and decided that if I jumped in I would have instantly died, like frozen to death immediately, like my body would have shut down and that would have been the end.  There is nothing short of saving a drowning child that would get me to stick as much as my toe into that water.  For Sierra and her friend all it took was a little dare...  :)

I guess it was more than a little dare.  I have no idea how it started, but how this whole thing works is that one kid jumps in and "calls out" five other names.  The "rules" are that those five kids then have 24 hours to jump in a lake, video it, and post it online.  In their videos those five kids name another five other kids and the insanity spreads just like an evil  pyramid scheme...

Eventually someone decided to turn it into a fundraiser for a local food bank and sold PPP stickers to those who jumped in.  PPP = Polar Plunge Participant

It was actually a cute event.  What you don't see is that the shore is full of people watching and cheering each other on.  Grown ups are jumping in, people are BBQing to warm up afterwards, everyone is laughing and screaming and having fun...  It's been a terribly long winter and this was a cute way to tell all the snow and ice to suck it.  :)

...and here is the best part.  Remember the before mentioned "rule" that you have to video the jumping into the lake and post it online later?  Well I was in charge of the phone that was taking the video AND the camera because I wanted actual pictures too.  I did good on the pictures, but the actual moment that Sierra's little head went under the water I may have maybe missed it kinda missed it.  Oops.  It kinda looks like she jumped off the screen and then two seconds later she comes back into the screen and her hair is wet.  So she and her friend had to do it again.  HA!

All in all, I was proud of Sierra for going along with the crowd.  YES, that's what I just said.  My kid did what everyone else was doing just and she did it only because everyone else was doing it. It's one of those crazy, stupid things kids do and I think it instills a sense of team and loyalty among all of them.  PS. This "going with the crowd" only applies to jumping into frozen lakes, not anything else.  Understood Sierra?  Be you.

That said, I will now mention that Michaela did NOT jump into the lake, which makes me equally proud because she did not go along with the crowd.  Doing something you don't want to do is never a good idea. Understood Michaela?  Be you.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Tricky Day

I start off at a very young age fooling my children on April Fool's Day.  It's the day when I spend most of my time smiling and even laughing out loud to myself about the sometimes mean jokes I play on my family and friends.  I have to justify this to my youngest children by calling the day "Tricky Day"... because mommy does "tricky" things to trick you.  It's all in good fun.  Right?

...and if you've read my blog before you will know that April Fools Day isn't complete until one of my children cries.  Sad, but true.  I first discovered this unfortunate tradition began when I stuffed Sierra and Michaela's lunches full of plastic food and Sierra, devastated, locked herself in the school bathroom during lunch and refused to come out to find the real lunch I had given her teacher.  This was after I claimed to run out of gas and made them walk the last few blocks to school that morning.

This year I realized all my best jokes have used up on the two older girls; I swore them to secrecy and brought back some of my favorite jokes.  The cheese sandwich for lunch was a total winner and the bonus was that nobody ever cried with it...  How could you be upset to get a cake and frosting sandwich instead of a cheese sandwich??!!

See Scotty and Andrea loved it!

But then...  For some unknown reason Andrea lost it.  Please note the REAL cheese sandwich sitting next to her plate right in front of her.  I think the fact that I had tricked her finally sunk in and it was devastating...  Better toughen up kid; this family doesn't produce sissies.

I still needed to get the girls, so I caught Michaela with the common, "OH MY GOSH you missed the bus!!" ...which actually backfired because she ran out of the house in such a hurry she forgot her homework and I had to bring it to her.  

Sierra needed a really good joke because she is the one who loves the holiday as much as I do.  I needed to step up my pranks for her so I prepared some nail polish ahead of time to dry out on some wax paper.  Then I peeled it off, placed it on her beloved iPad, and left it in her room for her to find. Hee Hee.

I even put Poozie's bunny nearby so she would get blamed.  It's a cruel day kids...

I tried to "spill milk" on Michaela's computer, but it didn't work so well....

As the children get older they are also able to be traumatized a little more.  I refilled the insides of Oreos with toothpaste and simply left the box on the counter.  Some of the best tricks are all about being patient and waiting for an innocent child to just take a cookie for no reason at all...  just like I knew they would!  HA! 

I even spread the love to our friends by sneaking into their house and dropping off a small container of minty fresh Oreos.

Last, but not least...  here are my chocolate chip cookies I baked with love...  Love, mashed potatoes, and black beans!  This really didn't fool anyone because I couldn't get them to brown right, BUT it was hilarious feeding them to our chickens the next day.

There you have it.  OH, but wait...  I couldn't just stop there.  I decided to let the whole town enjoy my pranks so I posted something on the town facebook page about how I totally agreed that our town had to many apple trees and what our "small farming" town could really use was a Target.  I referenced a non-existent argument and petition I read online and sat back and watched people fume about how it would ruin our small town feel.  HA!  It only lasted a while before someone caught on, but it sure was funny for a little bit.  :)

OH, but wait again...  there is still. even. more.  Scotty was home sick from school so when I called into the front office to let them know I went on about how he clearly got sick from school because he was fine when I sent him; I said had some wonderful ideas about how they could keep their school cleaner.  Maybe wash every doorknob several times a day, add vitamins to the school lunches, walk the halls with wipees cleaning sick looking children's hands...  I said if they were too busy the moms could help and we could be called the germ patrol and have matching shirts.  I went on and on and then said that I forgot to mention the date of my call ....APRIL FOOLS DAY!  


Green Day ...about a month late.

Every year for the past five years I have posted pictures of our Green Food.  I can't believe I didn't do it this year.  OR tell anyone about the super mean things I did to my children on April Fools Day!  (Yes, I made at least one cry.)

It is a rule that you aren't even allowed to come to the table if you aren't wearing green.  Happy wasn't here; he was at work.  That's another story.  :)

Even Blue has a green collar on.  :)  

PS.  Blue is huge.  He's a good dog, for the most part... He does have his moments where he just can't help but chase a chicken or jump on a kid or eat an entire car seat, but all in all he's a pretty good "little" puppy.  

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Thursday Night (freezing cold) FUN

Scotty looks like a rock star with his ski guitar.  :)

I would like some Wonder Mom points for taking four children skiing every Thursday night in below freezing temperatures.  (I would also like to know where to cash in my Wonder Mom points.  :)  I'd like to have a nap and maybe a vacation somewhere warm and sandy.)

This whole ski club thing sounded like a great idea before the POLAR VORTEX from CANADA showed up I'm freezing my tushie off every Thursday night because it turns out "ski club"doesn't mean that your kids are in a club that takes them skiing.  It means that you get a special deal on weeknight lift tickets and then you take your kids skiing.  :)  True, next year Scotty will be old enough to ride the bus and go on his own, but Andrea still has a ways to go so I think this is a new winter activity for me.  Wheeee......  :)

Thankfully I signed #1, #2, and #3 up for lessons so everyone except for the five year old goes off for an hour in a different group.  Sounds perfect and what am I complaining about?  HA!!   It's the, getting all the snow clothes and skis and boots and snacks loaded into the car so we can leave as soon as they get off the school bus.  It's the, wrestling boots onto feet and making sure every part of everybody is covered so we don't freeze to death.  It's the, $4.00 hot chocolates and eating sandwiches for dinner before the hour drive home.  It's the, getting home AT bedtime and arguing with kids because they "didn't get to do anything"....

All my whining aside, it's actually really fun when we are there.  If nothing less, "ski club" forces me to take the kids skiing.  :)  It really does force me too.  You should hear the excuses I try to give myself all day on Wednesday.  Of course, I finally got to take out Michaela's snowboard last week and impress Scotty and Sierra with my awesomeness!!  Scotty actually does think I'm awesome after my snowboard moves ...and falls.  :)  It's been 16 years since I've been on a snowboard and I was impressed it was like riding a bike!

The kids enjoy it too... Michaela finally got the concept of snowboarding, Sierra does great, but still insists sking with her family is boring (like a good 13 year old should), Scotty goes super fast and it freaks me out, and Andrea is a super star; she is finally making turns instead of going down the hill like a tiny pink rocket.

So every Thursday please think of me and the torture I am enduing ...all in the name of well rounded children.  :)

Monday, February 3, 2014

Blue ...our DOG!!!

We got a.....  DOG!

The entire family has been bothering me for YEARS to get a dog and now that we live in a big house with lots of land I started running out of excuses.  I found myself falling back on the "because I said so" reason ...which by the way is still a perfectly good reason.

Of course I did still have the reason that it would be ME taking care of the dog and that I PERSONALLY was not ready for the extra responsibilities ...then I started thinking **secretly**...  that it might be fun to have a dog and that I did have more free time lately.  I couldn't admit my secret thoughts to anyone because I didn't want to be pressured into my choice so I started **secretly** visiting puppy stores to see if I really liked dogs.  :)  Turns out I do.  HA!

So Christmas night I gathered the family around the table after dinner and gave them a leash and collar and said they could have a dog.  Screaming and jumping ensued...  even some tears on my part, but I wasn't sure if they were happy or scared ones.  :)

Little did we know how hard it would be to actually find a dog.  I was really against getting a dog from a puppy store ...just because that sounded wrong on so many levels, but it got really difficult when I realized there are NO shelter or rescue dogs from New England!!  All the rescue dogs that are here have actually been imported from the South where less smart people think that dogs should not be fixed...  So shelters in the south ship their dogs up north and that is how we got Blue.

Blue is from Little Rock, Arkansas.  He drove 1500 miles to Portland, Maine and then our family drove two hours to go pick him up from his quarantined foster home on Janurary 23rd!  He actually came with the name Raleigh, but after a long process and very detailed voting process he was re-named Blue.  He was born on October 1st and his mommy was a Boxer/Lab mix...  that's all we know.  :)

Our house is getting used to our new four-legged friend and so far so good.  He's a mellow dog as far as puppies go, but he still likes to run through the snow and chase red laser dots around the house.  The chickens hate him, the cats dislike him and the guinea pigs could care less.

I'm sure there are many Blue stories to come today when he managed to tear apart an entire roll of paper towels.  If you can't imagine the mess that would make, take one paper towel and tear it into tiny pieces and throw it all over your floor.  Now imagine doing that to 149 more sheets.  That's how big of a mess it makes.  For extra authenticity of the scope of the actual mess you could pour a cup of water in the corner and pretend it's pee.

Sunday, January 26, 2014

I wrote BOOKS! :)


Look what I made!  I printed two books; one of our time in Denmark and one of our time in Germany!  

These books are my blogs!  :)

First of all I can't believe I wrote so much!!  

Second of all, I'm super happy I did!  I might have forgotten about that guy in the parking lot I cursed with living in Denmark forever or the time I was threatened to have the Danish cops on me because I was forcing my daughters to play volleyball against their will.... or the time we tried to make corn dogs in oil so hot it would melt metal!  ...and my stories are complete with pictures!  

The books are really cool and I'd be more than happy to print one for someone if they want some good reading!  (only $130)  :)  HA!

I do think it was well worth it.  What if the internet crashes??  I'd lose my blog forever and all the pictures and everything.  I'd be sad.  :(

There you have it...  my books.  :)


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