I went home.... but not really.

We had a Girls Weekend in Denmark! It was almost like going home for me ...but not so much. :)

(As in my friends and me, not my girls and me... but yes, my girls are my friends too... I meant my MOM friends and me...)

It was really fun to go back to a place I totally knew all about. It was so easy. I LOVE DENMARK! :) Hee Hee...

I guided us through downtown, I could find street addresses and stores off memory, I could even hop on a random bus to take a short cut! I knew just what to do and it was fun. We even had good luck and ran into nice people everywhere we went!

Aarhus seems so easy now that I'm here in a giant city like Hamburg. I now appreciate Aarhus and it's smallness. I miss it. HA! I never thought I'd say that! :) ...But I'd still pick Hamburg, only because of the school...

Michaela was actually supposed to come with me and stay with her friend for the weekend, but her friend called a half hour before we were supposed to leave, she was sick and couldn't have Michaela over. It was at this point that I realized I will be the worst person on earth to tell Michaela really bad news... I had a hard time telling her she couldn't go. I didn't know what to say. I felt absolutely terrible. It ruined the whole morning for me too. I had to go of course, but I had to leave Michaela behind and I felt really, really, really bad. Sorry Michaela. We will try again... At least I bought you Skittles and Root Beer!

While in Aarhus my friends and I went shopping at all my favorite cheap stores and also to all my favorite expensive kitchen stores. They all learned that Denmark has a million cute things, but they are all so ridiculously expensive that you could never in a million years justify buying it. :)

We went to a restaurant and out for some dancing at a night club where we were too old for the teeny-boppers in things they believed qualified as clothes... and we were too young for the sad music in the other section. We did our best and had fun and made our way back to the hotel by 3:00am. :) No problem though, because we all drifted off to sleep without the fear of any children waking us up.

We woke up, ate breakfast, did some more shopping, and headed home to Hamburg.

It was great. I knew my kids were fine so I didn't stress out about them. It was good to have a break, and it wasn't too long...

Little did I know how critical this weekend break was to my upcoming week... this week has been ICK! Scotty has strep throat and I have to take the others to the doctor tomorrow before school to test them too. If they pass they can go to school, if they don't pass, it's off to the apotek for more antibiotics and then back home.

So I've had Scotty home all week with a fever and being generally unhappy... and he's such a sad little sick boy. I apologize in advance to his future wife.

Noodle Straw

Paul thought these pasta's would be fun. They are like spaghetti, but are hollow like a bird's bones. :)

In the end, these noodles were fun, but only when DADDY discovered they could be used as straws. So we all sucked up our milk with our noodles.

The Musical Fruit

I've always heard this was a good idea for keep kids entertained, but it wasn't until my friend tried it that I decided I'd try too. All you need is a bowl, some spoons, lots of dried beans, and a high tolerance for chaos.

These beans worked wonders and it was pretty tame ...until Sierra got involved that is. Sierra started to play and I came back to a kitchen COVERED in beans. I couldn't believe it! You couldn't even tiptoe across the floor without stepping on a bean. I wasn't too happy about it and made her sweep it up, but Andrea had a great time!

The beans are still in a bowl in the kitchen and I bring them out when I'm trying to make dinner. They are losing their novelty though so they might go away and come back another day.

Poozie's Hair Stylist

Sierra is in charge of brushing Andrea's hair after bathtime. Sierra loves to do it and Andrea sits there pretty long and lets Bear do whatever she wants.

Here is our new attempt at taming Andrea's flyaway hair. A pony tail! :) They never stay in for more than ten minutes, but it's super cute. :)

The Yearly Bill

We get a heating bill once a year. Today a man came and read all of our meters in our house. The meters are on our radiator things and they count how much "warm" we take... or something like that.

But the "heater reader" guy only comes once a year. Hey I just realized that we "took" this house on February 1st. :) So he came a year to the date! Wow.

Happy estimates our heating will cost 6000 euros for the year. If it is more than that we will have to move. :)

The thought of moving makes me cringe, but the thought of paying more than 6000 euros... to still be cold makes me want to poke myself in the eye.

...that was gross.

My Happy Day.

Here is a story to redeem the German people. :)

Last week I finally made an appointment to see a doctor. I haven't been to a general practitioner doctor since we have moved to Europe. After giving my mUm a lecture on taking care of herself and decided I should do the same. :) I made two phone calls that ended with a "NEIN". ...and on my third try I hit the jackpot! A nice lady who spoke pretty good English.

So I had an appointment.

Today I went to my appointment. I left a half hour early because I knew parking would be a fiasco since it is everywhere here... Parking was a fiasco, but I parked with 10 minutes to spare.

I found what I thought was the building and I was looking at the 20 doctor names on the sign. A lady noticed I was obviously confused and said, "something something help?". "Nein Danke, I think I'm okay", was my reply with a smile. I just walked in and assumed I could figure it out. Nice Person #1. Usually people just stare at me...

After walking up and down the three stories sounding out doctor names and using my phone to translate signs, I made a phone call to my new doctor's office. I told her I was in the building, but I didn't know which door to go into. At this point it was like I was in Michaela's Zelda game; all these brown doors with little white signs on them, empty halls and stairs going every which way... I was so confused. The new doctor's office receptionist said they were on the third floor. "Great, thanks, bye." ...and up I climb to the third floor where I translated the word. Maintenance Only.

Das ist nicht gut.

I go down. Someone else asks if I need help ...maybe because they've seen me carry Andrea up and down the stairs 13 times. I was being stubborn and said, "No, I'm okay, but thank you." Nice Person #2

I went back to the bottom and started at the first door. I started to say all the doctor's names out loud. My doctor was Dr. Hartig ...at least to my ear. I have no idea how to correctly spell and I only half paid attention when they told me so I had little faith his name was actually Hartig. I thought that by sounding out the names I might come across one that maybe sounded like "Hartig". This didn't get me anywhere... Then I just started opening doors and ringing bells, but it seemed everyone was dentists ...and now I'm 15 minutes late.

Nicht gut.

Finally, as I was justifying why it would be a good idea for me to just go home, a lady asked who I was looking for. I said, and did so even somewhat rudely because I was super frustrated, "I don't even know, Dr. Hartig?" She said he wasn't in that building and since I had been searching all of the four floors for 20 minutes I believed her. Then she told me where he was... with very detailed directions and in very good English. :) I thanked her profusely. Nice person #3.

I leave the building and, following her directions, walk three blocks down the road. Then I realize I was super dumb for even walking into the first building to begin with. This first building's address was #29, and full of doctors, but it wasn't even on the right street. I did need a building with an address of #29 and full of doctors... just on a different street.

I get to the right street and find #31... no #29 to be found. I'm again pretty discouraged, but now somewhat determined. So I call the doctor's office again. Nice Receptionist says, "Do you have a child on your head?" I said, "Yes." and my shattered hope of ever finding the doctor is suddenly restored as I'm now spinning in circles looking at the surrounding windows.

If she could see me I must be close. (I had Andrea on my shoulders which is the new easy way to get her from place to place.) I'm spinning in circles and she's laughing because it is pretty funny and I'm even now a little amused. I turn one way and she says "No", I turn and face the other way and she says "Yes". She directs me step by step until I see her waving to me from a window. A window on a building with a HUGE #29 on it. Nice Person #4.

The waiting room seemed full of nice old people who smiled at Andrea. Random Unnumbered Nice People. The doctor opens the door and says, "Is anyone Happy in here?" HA! I laughed. It was funny... and way better than boring ole' "Miss Happy, Mr. Happy" jokes. He did later say that it was too bad he couldn't marry me and be Doctor Happy. PS. His wife was a doctor in the same office. :)

Anyways, the doctor was super nice and talked to me for a while about California and my kids before asking why I made the appointment. Eventually I explained my problem to him ...which was nothing. I don't have a problem. My great-grandma, grandma, and mom all had/have the problems. I just assumed it was my turn. Thyroid "problems" are very hereditary... sorry girls.

He spent 20 minutes telling me all about thyroids and when Andrea got bored he... GET THIS... he gave her his phone to play with!! Nice Person #5! A few minutes later he was ultrasounding my throat like I had a baby in there. I saw my weird airways and my arteries and it was just weird. Our bodies have lots of stuff going on in there! :)

He said I needed some blood work because one side was "maybe abnormal". He and walked me back out to the receptionist and talked to the lady in German for me.

When I had the blood taken a nice lady did it and she gave Andrea a medicine squirter thingy to take home as a bath toy that squirts water. Nice Person #6!

I went home minus some blood, but very happy with my new doctor and all the people that were nice to me.

End of happiness....

Then I went to Scotty's doctor for his one needed vaccination.

It took only four people to hold him down while he screamed as if we were all viciously assaulting him. Seems my pep talk beforehand did nothing...

Seconds after his shot Scotty quickly pulled it together and stopped crying. I held and talked to him for 15 minutes in the office afterwards... He said "My heart was so scared and I couldn't stop it. My heart was just controlling me. I don't know how it did it." His exact words I swear. :(

My poor Brown Eyed Boy... I brought him home and fed him Spaghetti for dinner and followed it with a bowl of ice cream and Hershey's syrup. :)

The Devil's Spawn

I finally got the letter saying I had to take Scotty to the German school doctor...

Let's just say the experience was less than pleasurable. It made me so incredibly angry and offended and helpless ...all at the time.

My letter said I should take Scotty to a "School Doctor" downtown at 8:15, on Monday morning. I'll save that long story by just saying.

- Monday morning traffic into second largest city in Germany.
- Two tired little kids.
- Finally take illegal parking spot at grocery store.
- Walk for four blocks in the dark... in the freezing rain.

If anyone is even thinking, "Gee, she should have taken the train... consider yourself punched and you are not my friend anymore. Click the x in the top right corner of your screen please. :) "

By some miracle we found where we needed to go and we waited our turn. The receptionist called us in and we met the "doctor". I'm not even sure if she was a doctor, but we'll just call her the Devil's Spawn for lack of a more fitting name.

The Devil's Spawn asked, in German, if we spoke German. I said "ein bisschen". First mistake. I should have just said, "No".

Truth: I don't speak any German. I can say some random words and I can put together very simple, yet still, very poorly constructed sentences. Having a 100 word vocabulary doesn't mean I speak a little German.

Anyways...

The Devil's Spawn tells Scotty to sit down and Andrea and I take a seat. She asks me, (in German) if Scotty understands German. I said he did not. She then SIGHED like a 14 year old, rolled her eyes, did the shoulder lift and drop... UGHH!!!

I get this move so many times from people here. It drives me nuts!!! I can't believe grown adults do this to other adults. It happens ALL THE TIME TO ME! So it's obviously she's annoyed with us in general...and I'm all of a sudden super excited to be there.

The Devil's Spawn asks Scotty to draw a picture of a house and a person. He spends some time picking the right color (red) and draws a picture, thankfully of a house and person, and NOT a dirty bubble. :) (I'll post a dirty bubble picture later)

His house has windows everywhere, a door, a chimney with smoke, a roof with shingles... it's awesome. I love it. What does The Devil's Spawn think? "Das ist sehr schlect." (This is very bad.)

She told me his person was incomplete. "Where are the fingers, toes, hair, ears... Weeeee all have these." Then she scribbles some blah-blah-German words on his file. My response: "Super picture Scotty, I love it."

The Devil's Spawn moves on. She has a picture, one that you tilt up and it shows a picture, tilt it down is shows another one... Scotty says he sees a flower and a car.

This one took me a while to figure out. I thought there was only two pictures... a car and a flower. He kept saying "Flower. Car. Car. Flower. Car. Car. Flower." Spawn Woman keeps saying "No, Nein, No". It wasn't until I saw the "answers" on the back of the card that I realized the card had three pictures and one was a STAR. Scotty doesn't say S's very well. His "Star" sounded like "car". She again rolls her eyes and starts telling me he can't speak. Should he be in school at all? Sehr Schlect...

Yah, well guess what? He's missing his speech class so he can sit here with you for this highly productive activity.

It went on with more things like this. She was mean and rude and the whole time Scotty thought he was doing everything wrong, and "losing" the games, despite my praise from the sidelines...

No, that's not a boat it's a ship. No, that's not a duck it's a goose.

She said he was color blind because he was saying puppy when she was pointing to the fish. Well, gee Spawn Woman, there is a puppy on the other of the paper, maybe he was too busy looking at the puppy made out of dots to see you were pointing your pointy little, crackly, cigarette stained, witch finger at the fish. He's FIVE.

She was even irritated he was shorter than her stand-on-to-measure-you scale. Another audible sigh...

Her pirate patch wouldn't stay on his head for the vision test... another audible sigh and rolling of the eyes, "Why is his head so small?"

It was terrible. Unreal. I can't believe this woman exists.

This is the best part:
Scotty was in the middle of naming pictures, incorrectly, when he looks at me and says, "When can we go back to America?" My poor little brown eyed boy... :( ...looking at me from across the long table with the Devil's Spawn yelling Nein in his sad little face... I wanted to scoop him up, punch the Devils' Spawn in the face, and take him home to feed him our last box of Fruity Pebbles for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. :(

Instead I laughed out loud and did so pretty loud at that. Now the whole situation was just plain funny. I told The Boy I had some American licorice in my bag. He perked up a little...

We had now been there a while and now Andrea is starting to get bored. She gets up and roams around the room - silently. The Devil's Spawn tells me she can't walk around. Hmmm, okay. So I get her back on my lap and give her my phone. Spawn Woman yells... "NEIN!!!!" "NO PHONES". I just looked at her for a while ...a long while. After the last half hour of harassment and now this!

I'm done.

"It's not a phone, it's a toy. See? She's playing with it. Das ist ein spiel." Boy did I get a scowl then. I think that was exact moment we both realized we mutually hated each other.

So I figured what the heck... "So. Do you really think you should be working with children? Scotty is kinda stressed out after all this."

What? No sigh. No comment. Nothing... I'm tired of being nice and kissing her butt. I'm finally ready to tell her off and she doesn't have anything to say?!

"So are we done?" I felt a little bad at this point because I could sense I was giving her a pretty nasty glare on my face. We left. Who knows where her dumb report will go, but I'm all done with this. I did what Germany wanted and I'm all done.

It was weird though. I felt like I was trapped in this room and someone was harassing my child. I felt like I couldn't do anything. It felt like I was stuck there and had to do this. I was just helpless and waiting for it to be over so we could just be done and leave. It was like I was really being forced to do something I didn't want to do or else I'd get in trouble... I'm not sure why it felt like that it just did.

It was a strange and yucky feeling ... and that's why I'm done doing things for the schlect German School System.