Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Ich habe Krabben!

I bought crab legs at the grocery store... Real crab too, King Crab. Konigskrabben!

This is a HUGE deal! I haven't seen crab legs for sale anywhere in Denmark or Germany... and I've actually looked with some intent since they are one of Michaela's favorites. I've even tried the harbor docks and fish markets.

But I found them at a plain ole' grocery store today.

It wasn't until I got home and was on the phone with a friend and I was telling her my proud story of buying crab that I realized how silly it was... and the fact that it seemed like a normal event in my day now makes it all the more funny to me. :)

Sierra and I had gone to the store. We walked by the fish section and saw this massive crab looking thing sitting on ice with a sign that even I could translate, "Konigskrabben 4.80 euro, 100 grams"!! WHOOO HOOOO!!!

I still don't have a good concept of how much 100 grams is, especially when it comes to a pokey, shelled crab... so I just pointed to the crab and said "Guten Tag, Ich mochte Krabben Bitte".

Simple enough, but here is where it gets complicated. :)

See, I only wanted the legs and now the Fish Lady seemed to be asking me how much I wanted. So, still feeling confident, I said, "nur die legs" No sense in making her think I knew German, that often just confuses things, but "nur" means only... and when I said "legs" I pointed to my own leg. (I often play charades on a daily basis to communicate.)

I thought I had done good, but Fish Lady had no idea what I was talking about. I'm now trying to point to the crab's legs, but I'm fenced off a good 15 feet from the woman who is now holding the crab. I tried to get a little closer so show her, but she backs up and is now swinging the crab around and talking in German as if I've breached the Fish Security Perimeter.

We now have a crowd because, seriously, this crab is HUGE and POKEY and UGLY and it's an animal that many people probably haven't seen since I've been looking for it for years...

So. German Fish Lady swinging MY crab around, mad at ME for some reason... I'm still stuck saying, "nur legs" because it's all I know. Now I find my self balancing on one leg in order to show her my other leg. "Nur legs, Ich mochte nur legs bitte. Alles das Legs, die legs? der legs??".

I'm basically doing the hokey pokey at the fish section of the grocery store... in front of a huge crowd of Germans who are watching the Angry Fish lady refuse to sell me this enormous, spiked creature.

**Little side note to Sierra's participation in this event. She is standing behind me, with our cart, hiding her head in her hands, saying... let's go mom." :) No way am I leaving without the legs. It's now a game.

Anyways, I stop "shaking it all about" and say "Bitte, alles Legs" again... because the Fish Lady had seemed to listen to that. She says, "yes, alles" and slams the entire crab on the scale.

Fine, I'll buy the whole dumb thing... The kids will think it's fun to see anyways. 60 EUROS!??? AHHHHH! No! :) Nein Danke! Now the lady is smiling... I'm not sure if she thought it was funny or if she was just being smug that I wasn't getting the crab.

Now a Fish Man from the back hears my "AHHHHHH" and comes up to help. I've never been so appreciative of broken English before! He looks at me like I'm stupid and asks, "You eat the head?"

sigh...... "No, I just want the legs, but I thought I had to buy the whole thing. Can I just buy the legs?" ... way too fast for him. "Nur Legs", I try?

AND WHALLLA. He goes to the back rips the legs off of the animal and brings me four legs in a plastic bag! HA! Take that Fish Lady! 15 minutes and 17.00 euros later and I have four fresh crab legs!

It wasn't until I got home and Sierra was telling her "mom-is-so-embarrassing" story to Happy that I realized how much money I spent on just four crab legs. Then Happy went to the fridge to check out my prize.

He showed me the bag and said, "Are these the legs?". I said yes quite proudly, but then I suddenly realized the bag was much smaller than a bag of crab legs should be. Costco crab legs are way bigger AND much cheaper.

I then realized that at an undetermined point in the whole process of buying the crab legs, my motive changed. It wasn't about getting to EAT the crab legs. It became a challenge for me to just GET them. ...and I DID!

So I won. Today, I beat Germany. I get 38 points.

...and fresh crab legs.

...that my husband has put in the freezer. :)


Anonymous said...

"Ich habe krabben"

woa lady, your Danish is coming on in leaps and bounds ;) I told you it would come in useful one day, somewhere.

Z :)

franziengland said...

This is SOOOO much fun! Thanks for making my day way better! I hardly cant stop laughing and crying at the same time.
We "can't" buy just the legs in Sweden either. I don't know why. We just buy the whole crab (if we can afford it ;) . I love eating crab (both the legs and the body). I guess she couldn't understand what you ment since she had never heard anyone who only wanted to buy the legs before. But WHY was she so upset......?? Did you try saying you were a stupid Swede, that might have helped.... I've told you before :) .
WHEN will you eat those very expensive legs????? And how?
You are the best ever!

Tara said...

Ingrid. :) I'd never eat the head because the legs are easier. ...and I really only eat the legs to dip them in the melted butter anyways. Paul opens them for me. I saturate them in melted butter and eat them. OR if I have little pieces I put them on my plate, POUR melted butter all over them and then eat them. I really could just find something else to dip in warm melted butter I guess. :) We were going to eat them on New Years Eve but we had too much other food so we just ate them on a normal ole' day. :)

I should make a shirt, "I'm a stupid Swede." That will be a fun blog post huh? :)

HEY, Z! Miss you!!! We didn't make it to DK. We were babysitting a dog. BUT I will make it there for a weekend in the near future. I need to go shopping and I might bring some other moms and make it a Moms Weekend Away to Aarhus. :)


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