21 more days.

Yes, I had an appointment with a midwife today. But my midwife was sick so I met with another lady who spoke about as much English as I do Danish. Ummm. Helpfullll... not so much

So yes, the midwifes are finished with their little four month strike during which they sipped coffee on the corners and in the parks. But guess what magical happens now?! The midwife center closes for the summer. So they are now closed.

SO. After the experiencing the last 8 1/2 months pregnant here. I'd like to offer up this little tidbit of advice in hopes that it will save someone from going through what I have. Do NOT have a baby in Denmark. It is a very unintelligent thing to do.

AND for anyone whom I happen to offend... I offer my apologies. Sorry.

AND for anyone happy with their whole Danish pregnancy experience... well, yippy skippy for you.

But this is how it is supposed to go:

You find a doctor who gives you their office, pager, and cell phone number. This doctor would be available to deliver your baby any time, any day. This doctor would not go on strike or take the summer off. The nurses at the doctor's office will become your friends and call you to remind you of every appointment. You would receive a complimentary diaper bags full of coupons, magazines, diapers, health food, and other free goodies. This would make you happy.

Following every shot or blood draw, the nurses, who tell you continuously how good you look, would give you a little cookie and a drink of juice. A professional lab would test your blood for things you don't quite understand... but eventually the results will return indicating that the baby is fine. This would make you happy.

At the hospital, when you deliver the baby, you would get comfy bed and a gown to wear. An IV would be available to fill your body with any drugs to make the whole experience easier. Ice chips, drinks, and small snacks would be offered. Once your body has finished bringing another live human being into the world, the nurses would offer help for at least the next 24 hours because... gee - you are a bit tired. This would make you happy.

I am not happy. Up until now I've been perfectly agreeable and positive. New experience... new culture... blah blah blah. All done. I realize I'm going to have a baby here and I "should make the best of it"... yah. ...sounds nice to those of you not currently on schedule to deliver a baby in 21 days.

AND. NO. I won't simply delete this. ...and NO. I don't want to talk about it anymore. If this doesn't turn out to be so bad and my child is normal I will promise to write something nice.

me - hormonal, and awkward shaped.